How I found the perfect affirmation

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What’s the big deal about affirmations anyway? They are tools for transformational change. Affirmations are sentences or phrases that help you stay focused on your intention or desire. The key is to get past the rah-rah feeling, and connect deeply with what you want.

Do you use affirmations?

A few months ago, I found the affirmation that totally clicks for me. Over the years I’ve had some that sounded pretty powerful and awesome. They worked for awhile, until they didn’t. My new affirmation has been a game changer.

Affirmations are used to set intentions by repeating, practicing, writing and visualizing until they become  part of your mindset. When you’re stressed out or challenged, affirmations remind you to be present and remember how you want to show up. Trying to create a new habit? Affirmations remind you why it’s so important to you to create the change.

Affirmations are used for:

  • Increasing confidence and resilience

  • Reducing stress and anxiety

  • Inspiring change

  • Improving interpersonal relationships

  • Reaching your goals and creating successful new habits

 
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Below are some of the fearless affirmations that I’ve used to get through obstacles. But, they were missing some mysterious ingredient to make the magic happen. You’ve heard these powerful affirmations before, I’m sure:

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Lean in.

Just do it!

These statements would make me strong, brave, and visible. Right?

Not quite. Here’s what happened. I made these promises to myself every morning, or when I needed an energetic boost. I expected them to bring the motivational kick I needed. They gave me an energetic jump start at first. But then…

The energy fizzled out. Why, oh why, couldn’t I just feel the fear and do it anyway like everyone else? I found myself fighting an internal battle, and questioning my courage.

I got a short term boost. But they didn’t address the core of what was really holding me back. So they didn’t create lasting transformational change

I began working with a new coach this year. We were exploring my frustration over how Just do it wasn’t actually doing it.

She observed that maybe I hold myself to a really high standard and didn’t allow myself the grace to stumble and learn. Well, that’s always been more true that I’d like to admit! What would be the worst thing if I tried something new and it didn’t work out, she asked? What would I tell myself?

So what!” I blurted out, laughing. What a breakthrough! I realized that reminding myself So what, coming from a place of compassion, is exactly the affirmation I need. It gets me to a realistic solutions-focused space, letting go of the needless worrying chatter.  

 
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So what! makes feel the fear and doing it anyway so very much more attainable. Reframing and letting go of the outcome feels much lighter and easier.

I used to consciously remind myself to Just do it to push hard against walls of resistance. Now, I love the way So what! lives just below the surface of my thoughts, helping me to glide forward. Even when life throws a couple of curves my way. That’s the power of a great affirmation.

I have a hand-painted rock from my cousin Alexa’s grandfather that I treasure. I’ve had it forever. Thank you, Hans Schulze, for the message on the rock: “the first time you tried to walk, you fell.”

When I was a kid, the perfectionist in me couldn’t see the true meaning of the message. I wasn’t okay with messing up.

My inner critic that kept me from being comfortable with making mistakes that are essential to self-growth. Learn more about tackling your inner critic on the blog 3 steps to outsmarting your inner critic.

So what! gives me a safe space to learn, grow and improve without taking myself too seriously. I can feel the fear and do it anyway with my healthier perspective. I’m getting more excited about taking on new challenges and moving in new directions. As long as I’m learning, I’m growing.

 
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So what! helps me to step into my power so I can lean in more easily.

When you’re taking yourself too seriously or feeling stuck, ask yourself So what?! Love and accept your feelings with a positive and lighter compassionate approach. Feel how powerful this can be!

What have you really got to lose when you’re stressed out? Reframe your fear. When you change the way you look at things, the things around you change. Go for it. So what! Let me know how it goes!

Denise Fountain is a Life Transformation Coach and Certified Professional Coach. She works with women going through transitions to rediscover themselves and create lives that are happy, healthy and whole again. Together with her clients, she explores the connection between stress, health and happiness, and guides her clients to move forward to make lasting and sustainable changes.

Denise is passionate about helping women live their best lives. Denise provides coaching for clients living anywhere by phone or Skype, and is available for speaking engagements, workshops and group events. Sign up for updates. Contact her at denise@denisefountain.com to learn more about how she can partner with you to create the life you dream of.